rosslynpaladin:

only-tiktoks:

You don’t want a parrot- you want domestic pigeons. Quieter, friendlier, untraumatized by mere human existence, less likely to remove a finger, can find their own way home if they get out, thousands of years of domestication in your favor, did I mention quieter?

only-tiktoks:

danispookypumpkin:

her0-se7en:

Concerned Ape knows what’s up

HEY THIS IS FUCKING GREAT BUT YOU LEFT OUT THE BEST GODDAM PART

DAVID LYNCH IS THE OTHER EXCEPTION AND I AM FUCKING LIVING FOR IT.

lobsterbitches:

fruitpilled-peachcel:

fruitpilled-peachcel:

NASA putting mice in zero-g environments is one of the funniest fucking tests anyone has ever done and I hate having to hand that to them. Put those beasts in a situation.

girlsnout:

plaguedocboi:

A job I was applying for mentioned I would be working with something called a “frosted flatwoods salamander”, which sounded positively delightful, so I looked them up and I could not be more pleased with what this beast looks like

ALT

crawly:

herssian:

wormless behavior from some of you. absolute lack of dirt and burrowing. rethink 

tonyalmeida:

my-turn-to-yearn:

my-turn-to-yearn:

my-turn-to-yearn:

Had a panic attack at work last night and this clerk noticed and he got really close and said “hey look at me, just you and me” and then kept talking like normal and I looked away again and he stopped and more firmly said “look.at.me.” and it made me a lil wet ngl

Yeah this guy blew my back out this morning, follow your dreams everyone

He has decided he’s gonna do a fortnite emote after every time we fuck actually maybe reel your dreams in a little

exeggcute:

heyniceworkasshole:

pendulum-north:

sorry ignore me im going through something (<- guy who never stopped going through something)

crawfishcomic:

Dartboard